Recovery, Recovering, And Recovered
by SingForTheMoment1972
Summary: "It will be the hardest thing and the best thing you ever do." After Eleanor catches Brittany throwing up her food, Brittany finds herself longing for Recovery. Join Brittany on her emotional ride to Recovery. *The Chipettes and Chipmunks are Human in this story* Please Read and Review! Please Review!
1. Chapter 1

Recovery

Introduction

What does the word Recovery mean to you? What do you think when you hear the word Recovery? Well want to know what I think? Blood. Puking. Smoking. Self Hate. It's a long story really.

Blood is for all those time when I slit my wrists and body. Every time I put that sharp but gently blade to my skin, and just cut it. How the pain felt so beautiful. I loved it. I would call it beautiful pain. And oh my best friend was my razor. I loved letting all my inner pain out.

Puking. Puking stands for my eating disorder. All those times where I would stare at my mirror just staring at myself gripping my fat. Well it wasn't really fat, it was just fat in my mind. And oh how I would just nibble on a piece of pizza at dinner so my family wouldn't become suspicious. And then when dinner time was over I'd go to the bathroom and throw it all up. Every calorie I just ate all out of my body. But a long with all the calories and fat also went my vitamins that where good for me, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to be skinny and beautiful. Oh how I adored myself.

Smoking. Smoking is for my boyfriend. I'll get to him later in the story.

Self hate The final one. I hated myself back last December. I wanted attention and I got it. But I still hated myself. Oh how I let boys play with me and my feeling... I could name a list of boys that played with my used to be small heart.

Recovery. Recovery means a lot to me. With-out it I would still be unhappy.

I was mean to everyone. My mom, sisters, friends, all because I was unhappy with myself.

Money can't buy happiness, nothing can but yourself and the people around you...

Well let me tell you the whole story... Here's my story of Recovery...


	2. Puke

Chapter 1

Puking

"People have bad days to remind them that there are good days to look forward to." -Unknown

"Pose my star, Yes move your body! Show it!" The director of the photo shoot yelled. Idiot. "You know what Brittany? Your done go home my beauty I'll see you next week." I sighed. "Okay." I sighed again as I went to my dressing room.

I opened the door and walked in the small room. I took off the bikini I was modeling. I got my pair of of skinny jeans and slipped them on.

I stared at my reflection. I looked at my auburn hair, blue eyes, full big lips. I shook my head. As I looked at my body. Tiny waist, people though my waist was gorgeous. I looked at my cell phone. Should I call him? My sisters told me to let him call me, but I really wanted to hear his voice. I'm going to call him.

I picked up my phone and dialed his phone number. I sighed nervously as I clicked call. '_beep, beep. Beep, beep, beep'_ He didn't answer for the 4th time today. '_please leave your message at the beep... Beep!'_

"Um hey Alvin I don't think it's very hard to answer the phone. Please pick up the phone. I haft to go now, bye." I hung up the phone.

I graved my hand bag and walked out the door. I sighed as I saw my agent waiting by the company's door for me. Everything was fine between us, until he raped me. But it doesn't matter anymore. "Hey." He said his eyes tracing my body. "Okay Mike what do you want now?"

"I just wanted to know if you needed a ride home that's all." Mike said his eyes staring at my breasts.

"No, I'm gonna walk today." I said pulling my shirt more up.

"Yeah okay, hot stuff." And before I could reply he turned around and left and then he turned around and shouted "Hey Brittany! Where the hell is your wonderful boyfriend?!" He turned back around laughing as he did said that.

I stuck out my middle finger at him and turned around out of the building.

I looked ahead of me I saw the stop light. A voice in my head said '_Just walk across the street now... make your death seem like an accident.'_

I shook my head and I glanced at the beach it looked like a beautiful sunset, why not go see it? I finally decided I would go see the sunset. I crossed the street quickly and walked on the sand. I took off my high heels first of course. I sat down on a short wall and looked around. I saw two figures kissing, this made me Jealous. I sighed and stared into the sunset. I looked into my purse and saw my beat headphones I put them on and plugged it into my self-phone and clicked the shuffle button. I just sat there for 30 minutes maybe? Getting lost in the music when suddenly my phone beeped.

Yes! It's Alvin! I quickly read the text: _Brittany I can't date you anymore... we're always fighting. You know me well and if you do you'll know I love you... I have a lot of problems you don't know of and I just can't do this anymore. Don't answer this text I wont reply._

I stopped breathing for a moment I felt my heart completely shatter. 'He left me.' I touched my chest gently I felt it hurt. I felt like someone just graved it and ripped it in half. I quickly covered my face as I felt a hot salty tear roll down my eyes. Then suddenly I felt someone tap my shoulder. I smiled it was my best friends Jamie and Jack. Jamie and Jack where twins. They had golden blond hair that was always messy, blue eyes that shimmered in the light, they where so tall well Jamie was 6'3 and Jack was 6'2.

"Why are you crying Brittany?" Jamie asked gently touching my shoulder.

"Yeah you're always so well bitchy I think this is the first time I ever saw you crying." Jack said touching my other shoulder. I sighed.

"My boyfriend broke up with me. Again." I said drying another tear that went down my eyes.

"Well curse that bloody cow! Again." Jamie shook his head and then said "You the beautiful Brittany Miller shouldn't be messing with the worlds baddest rapper." I looked into his eyes.

"I agree with the dimwit 100 and 1 percent."

"Thanks guys." I mumbled. Then suddenly Jamie and Jack both stared at each other and smiled. Oh no! That means they have another one of there Idea's.

"We have a idea." They both said at the same time.

"What?" I said looking at both of them.

"Let's take you out. To a party." They both said at the same time.

"No, no. Remember Mrs. Miller grounded me after she caught me smoking weed." I snapped.

"Well we already took care of that." Jack said.

"Yep! She said you could go if you want to go." My head jerked up.

"Really?" I asked shocked they did this.

"Yep!" They both said.

"Okay fine I'll go. What time is the party?" I asked putting my headphones back in my bag.

"7:30" Jack said.

"Okay then pick me up at 7:00" I got up and was about to walk home as they said "Done see you then Miller."

Time to go just drown out my problems maybe have a drink or two. I sighed as I scanned my closet for something cute to ware. Maybe that cut tight dark red mini skirt, with that black tank top that's strapless and shows my tummy. Yes! Outfit found. I quickly took off my dark blue skinny jeans and put on my dark red mini skirt and then I slipped off my yellow long sleeved shirt and popped on my black shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror. I glanced at my feet they need high heels. I went back to my closet and got a pair of black high heels. I returned to the mirror. Now my eyes traveled to my wrists. How was I gonna cover those cuts? Bracelets of course! I went over to my desk and took the soft pink heart box in my hand and opened it. It started to play a gentle took. I took out as many bracelets as I could and put them on my wrists, one said fearless, another one was a piece of clothing that said Music, then finally my favorite one. I don't know why I liked this one, it was a simple tan, grayish cloth that you tied around your wrist and it said 'Recovery' I never wore it before and I'm not starting now.

I put on some bracelets and put some black eyeliner on. There! I'm all ready.

I glanced at the clock it said 6:30 and the second I looked at the clock a voice called "Brittany! Sweetheart! Dinner!" Crap I forgot all about family dinner night. I remember Mrs. Miller quoting 'We need to spend more time with each other. So no complaints family dinner every Saturday.'

That's great for me I just wasn't hungry. I walked downstairs to the kitchen table to see my whole family already seated. Mrs. Miller, Jeanette, and Eleanor. "Come on sit down Britt." Eleanor said smiling at me with her cute smile of hers. My eyes looked at her cute face and green full of life happy eyes, her blond hair in pigtails, she was a little chubby but you couldn't say she wasn't beautiful. "I'm coming Ellie." I said sitting down next to my beautiful nerdy sister Jeanette. "Oh Brittany looks pretty." Jeanette said with her pretty gentle voice.

"Thank you Jeanette." I said looking at my plate. It had a slice of pizza and some noodles. (Yum!) "Where are you going?" Eleanor asked taking a bite of her pizza. Mrs. Miller answered for me.

"Brittany's going to a party." Mrs. Miller said. I smirked remembering Jack and Jamie's face when they told me they got Mrs. Miller to unground me.

"Umm Mrs. Miller what did Jack and Jamie tell you?" Mrs. Miller smiled "Oh those to boys said nothing really but it's are secret." Mrs. Miller paused for a moment and then said "Brittany dear." I looked into her brown eyes and said "Yes Mrs. Miller?"

"First of all don't slouch, second of all why don't you date Jamie instead of that Alvin boy? I mean Alvin is a nasty cursing-" I cut her off.

"Me and Alvin have knew each other since we where 11 and he broke up with me today.." I said playing with my noodles.

"AGAIN?" The whole table said at the same time.

"Yeah again, said something about having problems."

"Lair." Eleanor said.

"What about Jamie?" Jeanette said.

"What about him?" I said looking at Jeanette.

"Well it's obvious he likes you... I mean he gets all shy around you, he cares about you..." Jeanette said "And don't pretend you never kissed him before." I gulped when she said that. "It was an accident, Jeanette." I said taking a bite of my spaghetti.

"Yeah that's why he pulled you closer to him." Eleanor said giggling.

"I slapped him after that. Because in case you didn't know Eleanor I had a boyfriend and I'm not a whore." I snapped at her. The table went quiet and Mrs. Miller said "I know your not happy Alvin broke up with you but no need to release it on us. He was just using you for you know what."

I covered my face and groaned "he wasn't using me for a person that just made love to him . Gosh." I found my eyes getting watery when the door bell rang. "I think there here." Jeanette said. I nodded my head and left the kitchen and walked to the door to answer it. "Hi." They both said at the same time.

"Hey." I replied smiling at them. "Come in I'm going to run and get something in my room."

"Okay." They both said at the same time again!

"Okay guys really stop speaking at the same time, it's starting to freak me out." I said. They looked at my and smiled with there bad boy smile and said "What did you say?" At the same time.

"Wait here dorks." I went upstairs to my bedroom. I was lucky my bedroom had a bathroom that made this a lot easier for me. I opened the the door and stepped inside my neat little bathroom. I closed the door and then locked it and went to the toilet. I opened the toilet lid and sighed. I moved my arm closer to my face and stuck my finger a little downs my throat and I felt some vomit come up my throat I quickly moved my hands and let all the throw up leave my body. I continued doing this for about 7 minutes before I couldn't throw up anymore.

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. Then I heard that voice in my head again _"You're really losing yourself Brittany... Maybe you should slit you're wrists harder next time and maybe it will kill you."_

"Shut-up not now" I mumbled to myself gripping my head with my hands.

"_You can't get rid of me.. I'm your conscience, and you know what I think you need to end this life, or go to rehab for your self harming problem, your eating disorder, and you light drug problem, maybe you need to slow down stop singing for a while. Or you know what that's a lot of work just end your life now."_

"Shut-up I'm going to a party. And I'm going to have fun." I said quietly to myself.

"_Okay fine but don't forgot two things, one this is the same party you caught Alvin in bed with another girl, and two don't forget you mint."_

I shook my head and left the bathroom and graved a piece of gum.

I quickly ran downstairs and to the living room where I saw the twins waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" Jack said.

"She's just a girl Jack." Jamie said.

"Let's go I'm ready." '_Yeah to get lost.'_ And for once I agreed with the voice in my head.

Okay end of the first chapter! Please Please Please Review! This Story means a lot to me!


	3. Lose Yourself

Recovery Chapter 3

Lose Yourself

"I need them! Dammit! You don't get it! Don't judge me! I just need Recovery in my life! But I'm not bad! Just addicted!" - Unknown

* * *

Alvin's Point Of View

I opened my medicine cabinet. I just need more. More drugs. I searched threw my cupboard frantically. I need drugs. Any kind of drugs. Anything! I sighed. I have nothing and my dealer wont be in town until next week. What should I do? Steal some? I sighed as I dug my hands in my palms. Maybe a beer would settle my craving. I sighed as I walked to my stairs. I looked around my dark gloomy house. Maybe I shouldn't have left Brittany. At least she gives me sex. _"You know why you left her Alvin. Do you honestly think she deserves a drunk addict like you?"_ Great! I'm hearing the voice in my head again. _"Thought so... I'm shocked she trusted a drunk with her virginity."_ When I was down stairs I slammed my heard in the wall. I felt the stinging pain throb threw my head "GO AWAY! DAMMIT! WHY GOD! WHY THE FUCK AM I LIVING LIKE THIS! WHY DID I TRY IT AT THE PARTY LAST YEAR?! WHY DIDN'T I LISTEN TO SIMON!" I screamed as I hit the wall out of anger. I felt my hand sting. I sighed as I tried to catch my breath. Why was I acting like this? I'm Alvin Seville the worlds greatest rock star! Why am I being such an addict and a helpless romantic? I looked on my wall. I saw a picture of Brittany and me when we where little. She was 8 years old and I was 9. "The good old days." I said quietly to myself. I still remember that day. I studied the picture of Brittany's puffy blue eyes. She was crying but we where hugging. I remember this was after Jeanette won the Ms. Wondeful beauty contest. Thanks to me of course! Jeanette... Good old nerdy goofy Jeanette. I looked at a picture of Simon holding Jeanette. And Simon. Gosh I missed him. I still remember the last time I saw him...

"_Alvin! Stop it! Alvin No!" _Those words still echo's threw my head. The day I had my first try at weed and pill drugs. I remember Simon and Jeanette begging me not to take them. And that same night when I was high porn pictures of me and another girl leaked on the internet. Not only I cheated on my wonderful beautiful Brittany, but I got addicted. The words that my friend Jefferson told me still rang in my head, replaying over and over again.

"_Come on Alvin! Don't be a wimp! Just try it once. You won't get hooked."_

Lair. I did get hooked. I remember Simon's disappointed face when he found out that I stole money from his piggy bank to buy drugs. A month later I moved out, and Brittany moved in with me. It was fun living with her. We made love every night. She cooked me dinner, always kept the house tidy, always gave me a hug when I was sad. But then I fucked it up. I kicked her out, because I wanted to do drugs. I never wanted her to find out about it. I never want her to know that I'm a addict. I smiled remembering me and Brittany's first kiss

"_Your such a lair." She hissed._

"_Well I'm your lair." I said as I looked at her auburn hair._

"_Shut-up. I'm only 12 and 4 boys already cheated on me."_

"_Well can I be the one that won't?" I asked. I saw Brittany look at me. Then I kissed her. It was a magical moment. That's when I found out that she taste like strawberries._

I shook my head as I opened my fridge and got out a beer. Right now I feel like killing myself. Without her. I think I'm losing myself. I glanced at the number on my fridge. _702-676-5565 Call for the road to Recovery love, Theodore_

* * *

_Brittany's Point Of View_

I felt blood leave my wrist. I steadyed the grip I had of my blade and sliced my wrist ever harder. "Shit." I mumbled as I felt the pain run threw my wrists . I felt blood drip down my hand. I flet my eyes get watery.

"_I thought you weren't going to cut anymore?"_

"Shut-up!" I snapped.

"_Can't face the truth Miller? You seriously need help. Go to a doctor, or even better rehab. Or ding here's an idea! Kill yourself."_

"Well voice I like the last idea best." I sighed as I rested my head on the bathroom wall. "Get a grip Brittany." I said quietly to myself "Don't lose yourself." I felt my heart beat slowly. Please stop beating now. I sighed as I felt my nothing. I wish I felt something. Anything, even if it's pain. I felt some blood trickle down my legs. I gently stood up straight. I felt my legs felt like jello, but I still stood up straight. I sighed as I gently got the towel off the bathroom counter. I gently twisted the foset, I saw water come out. I but the towel under the warm water. I softly place the wet cloth on my wrists as I cleaned all the blood off. After about 10 minutes my body was clean. I slipped on my long sleeve tee shirt. Black. I used to be the pink girl, now I'm the black girl. I twisted the door knob, and pushed the door open. There I saw Eleanor sitting down on my bed. "Hey!" Eleanor said smiling.

"Hey, Eleanor." I said putting my fake smile on. I walked over to my vanity and got out my black eye liner. "So what's up?" I asked. Eleanor smiled. Oh how I was jealous of her. Eleanor flet joy. That's all I wanted. "Well Mrs. Miller wants you to come to the store with us!" Eleanor said joyfully.

I steadily put the black eye liner around my eyes and said "Okay, just wait till I'm done." Eleanor nodded her head and said "So how was the party?" I didn't want to tell my little sister some random guy got me drunk and rapped me. "Oh it was fun." I lied.

"Good." Eleanor said. After about 10 minutes I finished doing my make-up and me and Eleanor went downstairs to the garage so we can get in the car. "Now we're just waiting on Jeanette." Mrs. Miller said.

"Mom?" Eleanor asked.

"Yes Ellie dear?" Mrs. Miller asked.

"If I was sad but said I was happy would you know I'm sad?"

"What do you mean Eleanor dear?" Mrs. Miller said fixing her hair in the car mirror.

"Like if you asked me if I was okay, and I said I'm great, but I'm actually sad. Would you know I'm sad?" Eleanor asked.

"Of course I would. Mothers always know these things." Mrs. Miller said.

_No you don't, lair._

* * *

**Okay! Umm I'm sorry if there's any grammar errors:) Please review and please be nice:)**


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